This time next year we will look back and reflect on 2020 – what we lost, what we learned, and how it changed our world. That’s what I’ve been doing this year as I reflect on 2019. This time last year I wondered if I would even see 2020. I was awaiting test results to determine if my never ending headaches end were the result of a brain tumor.
Now I know it wasn’t a tumor, but it still turned out to be a pretty frightening thing. Next year everyone will remember the words Coronavirus and Covid-19. The words I remember from last year are Bilateral Indirect Carotid Cavernous Fistulas. That condition in my brain behind my eyes and the side effects from the surgery that repaired it clouded most of 2019 for me and my family. I felt “bad” nearly all year long. I experienced anxiety and despair that was unthinkable before last year. I sometimes feared the worst could happen. And it almost did. Most of all I just longed to feel normal.
Isn’t that what we long for now – normalcy? We just want our world to feel normal again. We want to go out to eat, watch a movie on the big screen, meet friends at a coffee shop, visit our grandparents, offer a hug or hand shake to a friend, go back to work or school again. We want to go to the grocery store without feeling like we’re walking through a parallel universe that looks like the one we once lived in but feels cold and unwelcoming. We want to go back to the days before we heard the words novel coronavirus.
We can’t go back, but we can move forward with hope and expectation for a new normal, someday. Sometime next year we will look back on 2020 with perspective. Looking back on 2019 I’m grateful to be alive, grateful for my eyesight, grateful to be able to work in the yard all day without headaches or feeling sick. I’m grateful for family and friends, even though the only time I see them now is in a 2 inch box on a screen. Most of all I’m grateful for Jesus who carried me through the toughest year I’ve ever experienced.
We will never forget the pain and sacrifices of this year. But I promise you, if you trust in the sovereignty of God, this time next year you’ll be more grateful for what you have than regretful about what you lost. That’s perspective.
Keep the faith. Live bold, and keep working on that puzzle,
Greg
